Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

[Sport Rider]

[cheesy]

Well, the quiet lasted until yesterday. Actually last Friday, but I was splitting a gut on that one.

Friday, my fav sales guy, who has fewer working filters than I, went apeshit on the production manager for one more new machine sent out untested. He was called on the carpet and was told he needed to take a 'Sensitivity Class'. Then the rest of the field guys were told to take it, too. There was a loud 'NO' from the entire field staff and then we went on a text fest blaming each other and being a nasty as we could. There were middle finger and smiley face emojis flying all over. Then we were told we weren't taking it seriously enough and that started another round of immature behavior. One of the guys told management that this was akin to anger management classes by saying "I wouldn't have anger issues if you'd quit pissing me off." The ball is in their court now.

I was in a team meeting yesterday with Harold and the staff in Mexico. There's an issue with one of the 360s down there and the Mexicans want me down there, now. It lost all the joystick functions. I spent a good half hour explaining to the "Ingineer" how to troubleshoot and fix the problem, which should not take more than 10 minutes to rectify. Good lord, he went on and on about loose wires on the joysticks and I finally lost it.

"Dammit, the wires are for a European function not used in North America."

"But the customer is complaining about the loose wires and this other function doesn't work."

"No shit, that other function doesn't work because the failed part causes none of the joystick functions to work. And just cut the fcuking wires back so the customer can't see them."

"But high rails still work."

"Christ, of course they work, they aren't on the same circuit. If you'd shut up and listen, you would have had this fixed and been the hero. If I have to come down there for a 10 minute repair, I will be one mean SOB to be around. And if I have to wait more than 30 minutes for you at the airport, I'm turning around and going home."

Harold interrupted at that point and told the guy to just do what I told him to do. I have lunch with Harold tomorrow, I hope I'm not going back to Mexico.

[TominMO]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Probably a dilemma you are familiar with.

[Bruces]

Pretty sure it’s time to at least think about retiring from a sh1t show like that .

[cheesy]

I'm part way there, Bruce.

There have been some complaints from the rarefied atmosphere of upper management about having me on as a part time expense but no one has stepped up to take my place. Those up there that know me personally wish I was still full time but I'm done climbing on machines. Now I know why the old guy I replaced was so glad to be done, though the job was less of a shit show in those days.

[Vlad87]

The part with a Sensitivity Class reminds me of a Russian anecdote:
A foreman at the manufacturing plant interviews a new hire, and goes with him to the HR Department, asking an HR girl to accept new guy into staff.
- Yeah, he knows the job, please fill the onboarding docs.
- Ok, but he also needs to pass a Psychological test.
- What?
- Psychological test. You know, compatibility, stress control, etc... Select some abstract geometrical shapes, answer some questions ...
- He's a goddamn welder, why do you need that?
- Boss said that every new hire should do the psychological test
- Ok, gimme a sheet of paper
So, he draws a figure and gives sheet back to the girl
- What do you think it is?
- (Girl blushes) You know what it is!
- Well, let's make it this way: You are finishing the hiring process for this guy, and i'm not telling the boss that you've mistaken our company's part no. #### for a dcik!

[TominMO]

cheesy, can you do a video-conference with your phones for the quick ten-minute fixes? He shows you the part, you say for example, "See that blue thing next to that red thing? That's the anti-flatulence valve. Tap it three times then tighten the nut."

[cheesy]

Originally Posted by TominMO

cheesy, can you do a video-conference with your phones for the quick ten-minute fixes? He shows you the part, you say for example, "See that blue thing next to that red thing? That's the anti-flatulence valve. Tap it three times then tighten the nut."

I can, but face time is where I play boomer tech idiot with work. Once I start that with them, it won't stop. OTOH, I video chat with my grandkids quite a bit.

[TominMO]

Ah, gotcha.

[cheesy]

Sigh. The reason that mechanics drink is directly related to having to deal with engineers.

I went through all the trouble shooting process with the Mexican engineer earlier this week. At seven this morning, he starts with sending me videos of what he's testing and what he's finding. And he's texting, not talking. First off, he's using the meter wrong. Second, everything he's finding is in no way, shape, or form related to the issue. I've said, repeatedly, that once the Electrovalve has been eliminated as a problem, it is a hydraulic issue with the pump, not electrical.

Me-"Ignore the disconnected wires, they are for options not on this machine. Quit flipping fcuking switches on the dash. They are not part of the problem."

MM*- "But I have steering and high rails. You are mistaken."

Me-"One more time, dipshit, the steering and high rails are run by a different pump and different hydraulic circuit. Not the circuit that has failed. I am not mistaken. And I am trying to make breakfast. It's an hour earlier here. And how many of these damn things have you built?"

MM-"Oh."

At this point, Harold chimes in because he can tell I'm getting pissed.

Harold-"All this was covered earlier in the week, Jesus."

MM-"But I feel that we are missing something simple and should check deeper."

Me-"There is no reason to look deeper because there is nothing left to check. It is something simple. And something stupid. The bolt at the end of the A pump has backed out and the driven gear has slid off the splined shaft. What's complicated is pulling the pump and putting it back. The rest is easy. This also is not the first time this has happened to a machine built in Beaufort. Improper assembly and no loctite. Take a lot of photos that no one in management will look at."

Harold-"Do what Mike said to do. He knows."

MM-"Ok."

Me-"BTW, Saturdays are time and half."

Harold-"What?"

MM-"What?"

Me-"It won't be if I can eat my breakfast in peace."

Jeez!

*Mexican Moron.

[TominMO]

I saw your asterisk for MM, and immediately knew it meant Mexican Moron. Confirmed it by scrolling down.

[minimac]

If I didn't know better, I'd say you're making this up- but I know better. No One could make this sh*t up! Congrats Cheesy for being so patient with that MM- I'd be calling him at 3am with my "suggestions".

[cheesy]

I had a late breakfast, early lunch with Harold and Jason yesterday. Man, there is a lot with the shitshow that I've been missing. I've learned that there are to be layoffs and permanent 'GTFO' from management on down to the production drones after the first of the year. Again, because US Sales and Service are the only departments that actually run like they should, those are not affected.

One that I know of that is getting a 'GTFO' is the incompetent CFO. Buster could do a better job than she can. Another may be the Mexican Moron. He's been pulling some shady shit lately. He's had a couple of months with over $20K in expenses that he hasn't been able to explain very well. I can only hope that the QC guy that doesn't know where the shop is gets it, too.

There's an issue with a machine in Hawaii that we have said, repeatedly, is in the seat. Jason just spent two weeks retraining the operator and things went perfect. J no sooner steps off the plane at O'hare and he gets a call that the operator derailed the machine. Again. It's somehow our fault and now we are being sued.

I don't miss that crap at all.

[TominMO]

The best comedy is an exaggeration of reality; in this case incompetence. But these guys are already doing that in spades. I don't know how a comedy about this company could be any funnier/more sh!tshowy.

The sad part for us is that if they hire actual competent people, our little saga will come to a screeching halt. And the main reason they need you is due to the nincompoops, so soon you may be out too. Which you would probably be fine with.

[cheesy]

It's been a month since I posted anything. I've been ignoring Beaufort as much as possible.

I did have breakfast with Harold yesterday and got some skinny in that continuing shitshow down there.

Inventory started on the 3rd and was supposed to be completed by noon on the 6th. It was still not finished as of the 16th. That one even surprised me. I asked Harold WTF was going on and all he said was that the inmates were running the asylum.

Jason is back in Hawaii, dealing with the whack jobs at HuRT. They dropped their suit after Jason operated the machine for two days, with both sets of lawyers seated with him in the machine, without a problem. Their operator got back in it and derailed in less than five minutes. Our lawyer recommended that the operator be canned, and they agreed. Our lawyer also managed to finally get these clowns to agree that Jason's trips to Hawaii are no longer to be warranty related and the fee for him to be there will be $12K per day. So, we are finally getting paid for this Hawaiian fiasco.

Lastly, I managed to proudly piss off the VP of Small Equipment yesterday. He called Harold while we were at breakfast, bitching that Harold was supposed to be on a conference call. Harold looked at his calendar and told the VP that the call was scheduled for tomorrow, not today. I can hear both sides of the conversation.

VP says, "I changed it to today."

Harold, "First I heard of it."

VP, "I'm telling you now."

This is where I contributed to the conversation. And in a voice loud enough so the VP could hear me.

Me, "Harold, tell that little shit to fcuk off and hang up. Do the call as scheduled."

Boy, Eric went apeshit over the phone and threatened me ten ways from Sunday. I laughed and asked how well the inventory went. Then Harold intervened and used the famous Harold line when he wants to end a call, "I'm getting on a plane " and hung up. Harold gave me a dirty look, then cracked a smile. He said the guy is probably on the phone to France now about me and I'll be asked to take another sensitivity class.

I'll have Beaufort's check pinned to my shirt with a note asking not to have me back in class.