Hello Plado.
Its difficult to write anything which doesn´t read or hear like a bad joke to you.
However. You are still alive. Your mind still sound. Whatever you decide to do, Id´ be glad if you contribute your experience in this forum
And if you decide to take up the fight....
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Barr_(motorcyclist)
whishing all the best.
Juergen